Yesterday I was reading an advice blog and a female reader had written in to say that she didn’t like blowjobs and would never consider giving one. She was asking whether to tell a prospective guy that up front. The blogger suggested she wait and reveal that bit later, with other ‘bedroom’ conversation.
I understand that not everyone enjoys bjs and that’s certain their right. But, I wonder if taking such a resolute stand isn’t going to come back at her in the bedroom. I think of sex as a reciprocal act, with a balance of give and take. We perform certain sexual acts out of love and desire for the man or woman in our lives and ought to be open to a wider range of possibilities. I agree that there may be some things that are absolutely off the table. I could name a few personal no no’s. For instance, extreme bondage is not for me. Absolutely no gags and no major pain. Otherwise, I might consider trying new things…it depends on what I’m being asked to do and how I’m feeling.
I would suggest to anyone out there who doesn’t like blow jobs to think about taking a new approach. How about engaging in some playtime with the penis…get to know it more intimately. A little caressing, maybe a hot soapy playtime in the shower before getting more intimate with Mr. P. Then give it a try, you don’t have to play Deep Throat and you don’t have to swallow to offer him some pleasure and enjoy the experience yourself. !
The attitude of “I’m never going there!” seems limiting and negative. Oral sex has long been considered risque and I know more than a few women who won’t give a blow job and some, though fewer, women who say their partner won’t give them oral sex. I think a life of just straight intercourse seems a little bland, but maybe it works for those couples? But, really…what could be more fun than being open to exploration with a partner you trust. Learning to pleasure each other, finding those sensuous spots and being able to satisfy in the deepest of senses is what a full mutual adult experience of love and sex is all about.