My new job is all about seniors and aging. It’s often rewarding and sobering at the same time. Today I attended a training for trainers on Alzheimer’s and Dementia. Parts of it were downright scary.
Then I came home to my empty house.
- Learning about how the brain shrinks and becomes diseased with illness and age- Depressing
- Sitting on the back deck with shot of Knob Creek enjoying a balmy fall evening – Relaxing
- Wearing a shawl and thinking that only old ladies wear shawls-Depressing
- Thinking about Fall as a metaphor for this point in my life (shit dies in the fall, drops to the ground and rots)- Depressing
- Knowing that I’m still fucking single and without (legitimate) possibilities-Depressing
- Watching 4 young deer cavort and romp through the stream and surrounding grass- Exhilarating
- Realizing this was the makings of a blog post-Justification for a second drink.
Getting old, alone, is a mixed bag. I”m contemplating drinking my dinner. And, on the other hand, I’m thinking I could rejoice in my being alive, my ability to buy an expensive bottle of Bourbon and the absence of another person with issues- dirty laundry, aging-related problems, etc…. It’s all about balance.
This song comes to mind, for some reason. I think it’s more about the feeling of poignancy than the words.