I’ve been negligent. I confess.
Catherine the Great is finished. My throat is still…. whatever (Dr. on Monday, details to follow). Life goes on. Abandoned the job hunt for life of beans and 3rd rate coffee. Contemplating side-job as Blow Job Queen of the Universe. Contacted by guy on Okcupid- his name? JOE. I’ve sworn off Joes and Mike/Michaels. Forever. I swear.
Where have I been? No place, sadly. But I think it’s time for me to take a road trip or two.
Where have I been? Well, I’ve started a new, exciting, explosively unique, and can’t-live-without-it blogging adventure, hoping to take my vast experiences with dating and do something productive with them. I don’t know that one can qualify as The Expert if still single? We’ll see. Certainly I can make a list of successes with almost as much ease as I can create a list of utter disasters, humorous nightmares and total lapses in judgement.
Let me tell you about the world of dating blogging. Oh My God. There are people out there passing themselves off as the Messiah(s). The laws of attractions, secrets of fulfillment and there’s even a blog/book/series based on kissing toads…each of her missives is cutely rendered with toad analogies.
Gag me with a spoon.
What I have yet to figure out is whether people have really been reduced to the level of wanting that kind of material? <Idiocracy, the movie> Are we/they buying into these marketing myths about attraction and hyped up “My Prince Will Come” crap? If so, I am doomed to failure NOW. I can’t write that kind of stuff. Won’t.
What I have learned in this short period of pimping myself as a dating expert:
- Quotes draw a lot of attention- the sappier the better. There are 5 million quotes on twitter. When I created a Pinterest account and ‘pinned’ a quote, it immediately got about 8 repins. WTF.
- Anyone can write an e-book and promote themselves poorly-ad nauseum.
- Women are still being urged to use their beauty and bodies to attract the perfect mate.
- Russians will follow you on Twitter. I can’t follow them as I don’t read Russian.
- There are few people talking sex, trash and sexy lingerie for the over50 crowd. That’s the good news-my path is wide open!
Seriously. This is a little bit fun. A recent post I wrote got a little notice (and I mean little) and I’ve been asked to share it on a bigger blog. Guest posting is apparently the way to fame and money…. I could spend $12,000 to work with a famous blogger to learn how to do that and start making close to $100,000 a year as a blogger. If I drink the Kool-Aid. I think I’ll just keep tweeting cute quotes about life and love and girlie stuff and work my ass off trying to make connections. While avoiding toads.
Single and need some help? Drop a note to deliriouslydivineone@gmail.com and I’ll hook you up…with my new blog. (see, I’m doing my marketing!)
Oh my, there are so many things about this post I want to ask about, like blow job improvement and guest blogging. I don’t know where to begin. But yes, sappy quotes are at the top of the trash heap of things people want to see. There is someone on Facebook who vomits a sappy quote each day and she has tons of followers.
I know, I’m stunned. there is a blog- livelifehappy.com that is all quotes.
Guest blogging- google Jon Morrow w/ Copybloggers. I was on his free webinar and he popped out his big “offer”. Yikes.
As for blow jobs? Well, that’s probably an off-blog conversation. And, obviously a joke. Right? My first day-trip is going to be up your way. Maybe we can finally get around to that coffee date.
The whole dating self-help thing just stuns me. I’m getting e-
trashcommuniques from Evan Mark Katz (think that’s his name) and just wonder if singles are really relating to his material. Some of these people have huge followings!I’d actually rather do the blow job job than start writing like that. !!
Two words: singing lessons.
Is that for enhancing my blow job skills or helping with the dis-motility? tee hee….
I am amused yet again…..even the tags you use make me chuckle. Till next time, may your boobs stay away from toads and messiahs.
Good. That was my challenge. The beauty of this blog is that I feel totally free to say whatever I want. It is amazingly liberating! And, I get to share a message, sometimes, couched in humor or sarcasm or whatever…..
I confess I’m a quote-addict. But I think you’ll do fine with your new site even without them!!
I like a good quote, but there is a limit I think. I want to read what someone has to say in addition to just doing a cut and paste.
We are a definite, definite minority.
I, for one, would really like to be the one quoted, but, alas, for lack of blow jobs, I’m mentally impotent! Ms, Deliriouslydivine, I think I remember you talking several years ago about the desire to write, but, for one reason or another, you couldn’t get yourself started. Or, am I confusing you with someone else?
Tough, isn’t it? Writing that is….
Easy writing makes damned hard reading (not mine, but a quote, LOL, from some famous writer!).
But, you did it!
Most people aren’t so brave. Recognizing one’s inability to put five words together to make an intelligent sentence, though, is to be admired.
My problem (one of many – wanted to beat you to the punch) is with active and passive verbs. Far too many of the former and not enough of the latter. Perhaps you recognize that it me?
So, we see something that resonates, something that might define who we are, and we take the easy route, latching our message about who we are to someone else’s insights.
Quotes on Facebook! I see old classmates and neighbors and associates! Gosh, I now know you better than I ever thought possible….and I think less of you than if you’d have kept your reverberating quotes to yourself!
I guess we should give the quote folk a break. We all have our ways of coping! Hey! To write something, see it, and have someone respond to it, wow, what a rush, huh?
Just a man’s opinion, a minority opinion I guess!
Apologies for the intrusion! And, I feel like I’ve only touched on all the themes here!
Being over 50 and on a dating site is kinda pathetic, don’t ya’ think (just leaving the door open, and there are many open doors in my post, for the creative, retributive juices)!
Back to Jack Black!
Dear Buster,
“and I think less of you than if you’d have kept your reverberating quotes to yourself!” Surely you mean I think NO less of you……?
I don’t want to bash quotes, some of them are wonderful. But, it’s the constant spewing of quotes without any substantive conversation along with those quotes that gets to me!
Actually I have as many male readers as female… and I used to have a more active group of male commenters… maybe I scared them off? Or they’re all lurking, like you, and not daring to speak?
No I don’t think that being on a dating site at my age is pathetic! It could be, but that depends on who and how they go about it. I see pathetic types walking down the street. The Over50 crowd is the fastest growing demographic in online dating.. We’re less likely to ‘hang out’ in public places and have a more difficult time meeting potential partners in the ‘real’ world.
thank you for commenting!
Ah! I think you took it more serious than I intended! It’s so difficult to convey mood. Only the best can!
so true.. the written word lacks nuance. But, I didn’t think you were being very serious! And, I don’t want to discourage you from commenting.
Thank you…..with much apprecaition!