I’ve been negligent. I confess.
Catherine the Great is finished. My throat is still…. whatever (Dr. on Monday, details to follow). Life goes on. Abandoned the job hunt for life of beans and 3rd rate coffee. Contemplating side-job as Blow Job Queen of the Universe. Contacted by guy on Okcupid- his name? JOE. I’ve sworn off Joes and Mike/Michaels. Forever. I swear.
Where have I been? No place, sadly. But I think it’s time for me to take a road trip or two.
Where have I been? Well, I’ve started a new, exciting, explosively unique, and can’t-live-without-it blogging adventure, hoping to take my vast experiences with dating and do something productive with them. I don’t know that one can qualify as The Expert if still single? We’ll see. Certainly I can make a list of successes with almost as much ease as I can create a list of utter disasters, humorous nightmares and total lapses in judgement.
Let me tell you about the world of dating blogging. Oh My God. There are people out there passing themselves off as the Messiah(s). The laws of attractions, secrets of fulfillment and there’s even a blog/book/series based on kissing toads…each of her missives is cutely rendered with toad analogies.
Gag me with a spoon.
What I have yet to figure out is whether people have really been reduced to the level of wanting that kind of material? <Idiocracy, the movie> Are we/they buying into these marketing myths about attraction and hyped up “My Prince Will Come” crap? If so, I am doomed to failure NOW. I can’t write that kind of stuff. Won’t.
What I have learned in this short period of pimping myself as a dating expert:
- Quotes draw a lot of attention- the sappier the better. There are 5 million quotes on twitter. When I created a Pinterest account and ‘pinned’ a quote, it immediately got about 8 repins. WTF.
- Anyone can write an e-book and promote themselves poorly-ad nauseum.
- Women are still being urged to use their beauty and bodies to attract the perfect mate.
- Russians will follow you on Twitter. I can’t follow them as I don’t read Russian.
- There are few people talking sex, trash and sexy lingerie for the over50 crowd. That’s the good news-my path is wide open!
Seriously. This is a little bit fun. A recent post I wrote got a little notice (and I mean little) and I’ve been asked to share it on a bigger blog. Guest posting is apparently the way to fame and money…. I could spend $12,000 to work with a famous blogger to learn how to do that and start making close to $100,000 a year as a blogger. If I drink the Kool-Aid. I think I’ll just keep tweeting cute quotes about life and love and girlie stuff and work my ass off trying to make connections. While avoiding toads.
Single and need some help? Drop a note to firstname.lastname@example.org and I’ll hook you up…with my new blog. (see, I’m doing my marketing!)