Goodies, Delights, Sensuous Treats and Birthdays!

Quick update here in the birthday week.

I am so excited about the corset thing! Some of you who have patiently followed me for years (gasp, it’s been that long) will remember that in the Joe v.1 years I was experimenting with the wild side. So, this invite from the corset company to take a spin with their products should be fun. They want a slighter older, maturer perspective–which I certainly qualify for! I gave them my thoughts about what the review would look like and then shared this blog with them! Eureka. They may offer me a goodie bag of delights to play with and promote here as well as the review which will officially go on another site under my real name!

I will be expecting you all to pay attention, spread the word… tell all your friends. About the product! Not me.

As I said I’m excited. But, I have to admit to being just a tad disappointed. I was expecting at least one salacious comment,  asking about bids for a play date. Geez, guys. Flatter a woman here!

Happy Monday.

 

 

 

 

When, Where and Why?

As I was rushing out the door to my part-time job this morning (yes, boss is away and I am blogging on her dime) I grabbed a red jacket out of my closet. It’s somewhat dressy so I don’t wear it very often and can’t recall when I last wore it. But, it would have been on a fall day…it’s not summer wear.

Pulled on the jacket, reached into the left pocket and pulled out a pair of panties!!!!  Heavens. I have no idea when I did that and why.

I do recall a summer night when I ran into a lover at the bar. He was with his buddies and I was alone, I think. We were sitting next to each other, as I know the whole crowd…but none of them knew of our connection. I was wearing a short, sleeveless black dress. I got up to go the rest room where I removed my panties. Returning to the bar I caught his eye and let him see what was clutched in my hand. Then I sat down next to him on the bar stool, crossed my legs demurely, and continued the conversation. He twisted and fidgeted the whole time. When he left , first I think, I got a text about my actions and the ensuing results. It was great fun! I loved his reaction and the sexual charge I got as well.

Those panties were black. These were nude and for the life of me I can not remember how they got there! Is this what old age is like?

Bikini Season

This is what happens when you write for a lingerie website… you get lustful, even when against all intuition, you know your body won’t look good in a 2 piece. Or that having your saggy ass drooping over the ‘metallic’ strings of the string bikini won’t feel good for even two seconds… forget that no one will see that string as it’ll be hidden under the fat.

But, writing is all about making the reader “feel” the moment, helping someone forget, for just a few brief seconds, their reality as they are swayed by the possibilities.

The article is done and submitted. I’ve talked myself down from the Cha Cha Cha bikini and am off to the shower. Picture me shuffling down the hall in a nappy looking pale blue fuzzy robe with short black socks (furnace broken again!) in leopard print slippers.  Hairy legs and stringy dirty hair.   The “could I fit into a bathing suit this year” me wants to skip breakfast and see if sweating it out at the gym will help.  The “fuck it, who’s looking at a 56 year old in a bathing suit” me will have oatmeal.

Happy Friday!,

Divinely Yours

Let’s Talk Lingerie-What Do You Like?

I’ll be shifting to lingerie mode this weekend… no, not a hot date. A job for a website.  So, tell me what you look for in women’s lingerie.

Share your darkest secrets~

1. Is there a particular color lingerie you find  sexy?
2. How revealing would you go? or would you like your partner to go?
3. Have you ever gotten a gift of lingerie? Was it a good gift? i.e. not from some creep or guy on first date.
4. If your partner went out and bought herself lingerie would you be pleased, embarrassed, questioning her motives?
5. Do you have lingerie fantasies?
6. Silliest piece of lingerie ever made?
7. Anything you would NEVER wear?

First sexy thing I ever bought was a rather virginal looking white gown about 15 years ago. Tame by today’s standards.

Sexiest thing I ever bought myself when I was single and not in relationship. Black lace demi-bra. I love how it makes me feel when I wear it. Gorgeous thing!  (the bra, that is)

Most recent sexy thing I had in lingerie was a black ‘leather’ corset w/ g-string bought for me by ex-boyfriend. (Asshole He kept it when I broke up with him! Is my replacement wearing it? Did he burn it in effigy?) Not that I think I could have ever worn it again!

Next piece I plan to buy once I’ve lost a few pounds-black sheer lace teddie, crotchless with removable garters. I’ve already got the black fishnet hose.

Talk  baby, talk

Sex and My Mother’s Condo

I am a freelance writer, with a variety of client projects that I might be handling at any given time. This particular client is one I’ve worked with for a number of months on a wide variety of projects. One of her clients is the owner of a lingerie website and blog. Yesterday I spent the afternoon writing up new descriptions for categories of lingerie.  The task wasexs to come up with a 120 word description of teddies, or leather lingerie and more. The g-string section was particularly challenging… really, how much can one say?  There was also the category on open crotch/cupless bras.

So, I was working at my mother’s place since my heating oil ran out on Saturday and my house was freezing. In one room my mother was listening to opera and in the den I’m browsing through 492 pictures of corsets, bustiers and plenty of bare bottoms. And, getting a little hot in the process. Some of that stuff was incredibly sexy and as I was trying to come up with delicately sensuous descriptions I envisioned myself in some of the garments. Mom was blissfully unaware.

My challenge was to maintain the professional air one needs to do the job professionally. I couldn’t stop and distract myself, nor could I totally rid myself of all feelings… I needed that to get the job done.

I finished. The job was completed and I’ve been paid. I’ve also picked out a few little gems I would like to have. I’m going to be bold and ask the client about getting a discount. After all, what could be better than a personal endorsement?

What am I lusting for? A black boned corset with purple trim and a g-string made with a string of ‘pearls’ in place of that essential bit of fabric. And, the man to wear it for.

Venus Williams Forced to Play Tennis When She’d Rather be Eating Pie

Really? This is the worst looking thing I’ve ever seen.  Why is tennis suddenly getting into the ‘fashion’ scene. Is Venus Williams simply expressing herself or trying to sexualize her tennis game? Either way, it’s a failure.  The colors don’t match at all, and the pie crust look sags and makes her look like she’s got a bit of a gut.. AND, why all that flesh?

I’m feeling ever bit the grandmother here as I give this a big Tsk, Tsk.

Ugh.

Do Your Panties Make You Feel Sexy?

According to an article I found on Current TV, women, on average,  own about 21 pairs of underwear. And, many claim that a ugly or ill-fitting pair of undies can ruin their day.  I know that panties that ride or roll and sag can be annoying, but I’ve never had a day ruined by ugly panties. You?  

Based on a survey of 1008 women, here are some fascinating tidbits about girlie panty wearing behavior:

• Almost half of women (47%) say they feel sexier and more confident wearing a nice or special pair of panties.
• 27% say their mood is affected by wearing an ill-fitting or unattractive pair of undies.
• 10% of women own 35 or more pairs.
• 65% buy neutral colors, with white being the most popular, followed by black and beige.
• Overall, 46% of women say briefs are the style they wear the most often. But women age 18-34 are more likely to wear the bikini style.
• 56% of women fold their panties; 27% just toss them in the drawer.
• 1 in 10 women admit that they will venture out of the house without underwear.
• Half of women have complaints about the way their underwear fit, with “wedgies” (30%) topping that list, followed by “doesn’t lay flat under clothes” (19%) and “not enough coverage in the rear” (14%).

I don’t know about you but on a given ordinary work type day, I’m all about comfort. That means briefs, beige or black and comfy. No thongs, no tiny little things that get lost when I sit down. Do I feel less sexy? No, I feel comfortable.

For dress-up and those anticipatory intimate moments, then I’m going for something sexy-normally black and somewhat smaller.

What about you ladies? Do the panties make the woman? If Bridget Jones could get laid in big droopy white granny panties isn’t there hope for all of us?

www.shopsmartmag.org