6:50 P.M. Friday Night
On the Menu: Two Makers Mark w/ a splash of ginger and some double creme brie with Carrs wheat crackers and…
On the iPod: The Chairman of the Board, Taj Mahal, and Aretha Franklin’s Respect.
Discoveries abound. Today a man who I met in 2004 or 2005.. rockiest dating ‘relationship’ on the planet, wrote me. I’ve referenced him here. I responded, knowing I was feeding the piranha. After a day of emails, at 5:15 P.M. he suggested we make a ‘pact’ to love each other. He would move in with me, to help with my finances and.. I guess we’d live happily ever after!? He started this proposal of sorts by noting that he was old (58) and tired and that I was “sexy but had “issues”…”" Be still, my beating heart.
Wow. I’m flattered. Actually, as I sit here now, contemplating the brie and the booze, I am chuckling at the sexy part (and conveniently ignoring the ‘issues’ bit). I’ve spoken with my life coach (tee hee) and have pledged not to respond to him. But, you know.. there is a list of men who find me sexy-it’s odd. Modesty aside, because I’m like the little boy who just found his penis and I’m in awe and amazement over this discovery, here we go:
1. This one is kin to my sons and has lusted after me for years. I found that out 5 1/2 years ago. We’ve toyed with the idea but, it was ill-fated.
2. My ex’s childhood friend, wanted me but out of deference to the ex… Now on Wife #3 and I languish here thinking about all the what-if’s this one brings up.
3. Ex-boyfriend of 3 years- still wanting it and me I suspect and it would be demeaning to reduce that to just sexiness.
(note that I have never really thought of myself as the sexy type so this is a major, albeit bourbon-induced insight. Though of late I’m coming to own this side of me)
4. He who can’t be referred to.. He’s never said I was sexy, but has expressed it in other words and actions over the years. He should be at the top of the list.
5. Mr. Lawyer- met through online dating-found me sexy, told me and then took off and maybe even contemplated switching teams. Yeah for my ego!
6. Current emotional basketcase.
7. Nice guy. We like each other and it’s a mutual sexy thing but no ‘couples’ chemistry.
I’m not necessarily bragging. And, I’ve left out a few to protect the innocent. And… what the FUCK!!!! How can this be true and I’m still hopelessly single? At my age I should rejoice in my sexiness, right? But, what about marriage material? Or even long-term “____” fill in the blank? Or just a guy to pay my health insurance premiums (oh wait.. I just got that offer) There must be something missing?
I’m finding it to be pretty funny this evening. Friday night and an evening full of potential for me. The type of potential that translates into a good movie, this fabulous brie, a few household chores with great tunes in the background or journaling. Tonight, for the first Friday in quite a while I’m content with this.