Who’s Making Luv Here?

I’m totally over the whole matching date experience. This is the latest match that one of my beloved online dating sites has picked for me. I’ll let you be the judge as to how well matched ole Bobby BangBang (truly, that’s his screen name) and I seem to be.

As an additional note.. he’s ‘stocky’, recently separated and has an associate’s degree.

~In His Own Words ~

Must love to be massaged and give massges. Must love to kiss, hug. Must love to bath together. Must have her own bathroom. I am a very giving loving person. I love to love and be loved. I adore women. I will stop at a moments notice to kiss and make love. Love to skinny dip insecli=uded or non secluded places if it is ok at the beach. Love to be nude if the woman wants to be.

What I like to do:massage, Nascar, walk, play, make love, kiss toes

My hot spots:anywhere, mountains, beaches, parks, woods, camping, in tents or 5 star hotels

A few of my favorite things:movies, lots of sex, stay healthy, take showers together, more sex, wash a womans hair, do her pedi

~ ~

What’s he looking for?  Anything with a vagina.

It’s Too Hard…. (note whiny, childlike tones)

He looked promising with varied interests and a pleasant smile. I wrote, he wrote back with a phone number and a first name. Changing the settings on my iPhone, I called from a blocked number. As soon as he answered the phone the little voice told me I ought to just hang up.  But I didn’t…that would be rude.

Twenty nine minutes. Filled with pauses while I tried to figure out what to say. He’s just turned age 60, but seems to have packed in too many experiences for that age. He has always had horses, do I ride? No.  He’s been flying a plane since the early to mid 70′s- solo? He used to own a plane, several horses, a Mercedes Benz, a nice home…..Yawn. He’s been a hundred and one things in life… Gone to med school. Owned three Harleys. And, he had a stroke 8 months ago.

Where did I stop listening? I’m not sure, but early on. I finally said that I  had to go and got off the phone quickly. He was going off in the line of “I’ll tell you…..” and “when we….” . It was around 9 PM on a Friday night–the most dreaded night of the week for me.  I’ve whined about Fridays before, it feels like date night and I’m the ugly duckling (irrational, yes I know). I just sat there staring at shitty television for another 30 minutes… willing myself to get up and do something useful. I just went to bed.  This whole dating process is such a <insert your own expletive here>, sometimes.

Today’s a new day. No self-flagellation in front of the Match.com screen. I promise. Now that I’ve vented a little I feel miraculously better!

The Beat Goes On and On and On… One Woman’s Dating Life

So, I moved on and wasted little time on “Mike” who felt my sexy, divine, gorgeous 56  year old self was too young for him.  What an idiot, he has no idea what he’s missing… though I understand the reservations about age differences.  I just got back from a first date with a  man 12 years my senior. We’ve had great phone conversations, nightly, for the last week or more.  I was working hard at maintaining a sense of detachment.. not too hopeful, but not aloof. Just present and open to possibility.

He knew the age gap was a bit of an issue for me; apparently I mentioned it 2 nights in a row. Oops!  We had a nice dinner and chat, though the table of nearby disruptive children was challenging and led me to discover that this guy doesn’t like little  kids. Problem. We left without a firm second date and my guess is that he intuited my reservations. I’m sure they showed.  I am trying a new approach, old-school/old-fashioned. I’m not trying to look at chemistry but rather other areas of compatibility and be open to the idea of ‘growing’ fond of each other. But, in reality, I really respond to the chemistry, or lack thereof in a guy. And, I didn’t feel it. I want a hot sexual relationship for as long as I/we can manage it and I need to feel that chemistry as part of the full package.  He didn’t seem the least bit interested in a kiss, though maybe it was the Gentleman in him?

I suggested a matinee, Jane Eyre, for  our second date and he made a slight face. I offered an alternative but he said he’d call me.  I came home and decided to email the other guy on Match who just recently indicated an interest in me… he’s a reader, a writer, and retired in his mid 50′s. He’s only 66, so seems possible, even though he’s about 80 miles away. I liked his reading list!  Tonight’s date was there online searching as well… guess he did get that vibe.

Footnote: I’ve been wondering about how much I want to share about my intimate life here on the blog, even though it may be a little late for that. By my figuring, at least 2 past lovers are reading, another guy I met on Match but didn’t really date, maybe another guy who I slept with but didn’t manage to mate for life with (you know who you are) and possibly the most recent ex-boyfriend. Feels like too many men in bed with me all at once.  Thankfully they’re not all commenting here! Boy, would that get messy.