Tag Archives: compatibility

The Shell Game Called Dating

18 Jul

Three ‘shells’… three men. I’ve been in a place like this only once and it was a number of years ago. Last week, I found myself in correspondence with three men. And, I found myself moving past that initial email to phone calls. Unfortunately they were all scheduled for about the same time.

I consider a phone chat a mandatory prerequisite (yes, redundant) for dates. But, the evening was funky as I ran over to drink with a distressed friend. He wrote to say he had 2 bottles of booze, tequila and bourbon, with a little note saying ‘drink me’. Who can refuse that type of plea? I can’t. He had Knob Creek, so we sat in his kitchen sipping straight liquid gold and talked about our respective romantic issues. So, I let the call with Joe. v3 *  slide. It was a major mistake. We had a date scheduled for last Weds. I think. It didn’t go well and had we talked first I would have known this and cancelled. But, I didn’t.

It’s interesting trying to sort out 3 very different men. On the night I went out with Joe.v3, I talked on the phone with the other two. Believe me when I tell you that shifts gears like that is not easy. I was sorta brain dead by the end of the evening, but it was fun.   One is a scientist, one a rebel-bad boy-biker and the third is a library administrator. Two of them had the type of profile that draws me in; intelligent, well-written with an array of interests. And, the third? Well there was just something there that seemed to offer promise of adventure-he would be the bad boy.

On paper all three looked equally interesting. In person? Well, so far I’ve only met the scientist. It was a long 2 hours and ‘pouf’ it’s over.  So, we’re down to two. I’m talking on the phone and emailing with one and the other ? He’s been out of town or something…we have a tentative date this coming up weekend.  I’m shuffling the shells around and waiting to see where the prize is. If there is a prize. And, really I’m the one doing the shuffling and juggling as I wait to see which, if either, of these men holds enough interest for me. If I had to predict, I’d say that the library dude isn’t going to be it. But, the key is to be open and unattached.

It’s fun and I can’t see that there isn’t any reason for me to just enjoy the distractions. Both are being attentive enough… one is checking in daily and asking questions and showing interest in me. So, that’s a good thing. But, in the end it’s all a shell game. Slight of hand, clever disguises could be the prevailing theme right now.

 

* Joe. v3. I have had a run on Michael/Mike and Joe in my life of late. The last 4 men I’ve had more than a few dates with have been Michaels and Joes. All unsuccessful. And, through my romantic history I’ve been entangled with 4 men named Michael or Mike.  The most recent Michael has turned out to be a good friend….with good taste in liquor. But, the next time one of these names shows up on my computer screen I’m probably going to run. It’s too complicated. The only good thing is that I’m less likely to yell out the wrong name in the throes of passion.

 

The Beat Goes On and On and On… One Woman’s Dating Life

21 Apr

So, I moved on and wasted little time on “Mike” who felt my sexy, divine, gorgeous 56  year old self was too young for him.  What an idiot, he has no idea what he’s missing… though I understand the reservations about age differences.  I just got back from a first date with a  man 12 years my senior. We’ve had great phone conversations, nightly, for the last week or more.  I was working hard at maintaining a sense of detachment.. not too hopeful, but not aloof. Just present and open to possibility.

He knew the age gap was a bit of an issue for me; apparently I mentioned it 2 nights in a row. Oops!  We had a nice dinner and chat, though the table of nearby disruptive children was challenging and led me to discover that this guy doesn’t like little  kids. Problem. We left without a firm second date and my guess is that he intuited my reservations. I’m sure they showed.  I am trying a new approach, old-school/old-fashioned. I’m not trying to look at chemistry but rather other areas of compatibility and be open to the idea of ‘growing’ fond of each other. But, in reality, I really respond to the chemistry, or lack thereof in a guy. And, I didn’t feel it. I want a hot sexual relationship for as long as I/we can manage it and I need to feel that chemistry as part of the full package.  He didn’t seem the least bit interested in a kiss, though maybe it was the Gentleman in him?

I suggested a matinee, Jane Eyre, for  our second date and he made a slight face. I offered an alternative but he said he’d call me.  I came home and decided to email the other guy on Match who just recently indicated an interest in me… he’s a reader, a writer, and retired in his mid 50′s. He’s only 66, so seems possible, even though he’s about 80 miles away. I liked his reading list!  Tonight’s date was there online searching as well… guess he did get that vibe.

Footnote: I’ve been wondering about how much I want to share about my intimate life here on the blog, even though it may be a little late for that. By my figuring, at least 2 past lovers are reading, another guy I met on Match but didn’t really date, maybe another guy who I slept with but didn’t manage to mate for life with (you know who you are) and possibly the most recent ex-boyfriend. Feels like too many men in bed with me all at once.  Thankfully they’re not all commenting here! Boy, would that get messy.

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