I thought we’d talk about something different for a change. Sex. Men. Orgasms.
In high school I was never the sexy one, the one that guys clamored to go out with. I don’t think I was the smartest one either, but I went to boarding school so the deck was stacked. I don’t know what I was… confused, self-conscious and just a teen who hated some aspects of her life. I had long blonde hair and was not unattractive, but unaware. I’ve never felt as sensuous or sexual as I’ve felt in my late 40′s and 50′s.
For my senior page in the yearbook I had to have an informal photo shot and a quote. I’m smarter than the average person, but not the pithy words, quotes and esoteric crap type intelligent. My senior quote was “a rolling stone gathers no moss”. I don’t even really know what it means, and I didn’t know then either.
Now, I would say it means that it’s time for me to quit letting myself be trapped by all the unappealing, clingy, unnecessary trivia in life. It’s time to let go of what impedes me… if I can figure out what that might look like. Right now, at 5:32 PM on a hot Tuesday afternoon what that looks like is me feeling free to talk about my orgasms.
Yes, the Orgasm. I have them but it can be a bit of work to get me there. And, I have to have one of two things: either an exceptionally skilled man and the right moment or a good strong relationship in which ‘he’ is committed to learning my body and devoting his time and energy. Once you’ve figured that out, then it’s a breeze, a guaranteed ace-in-the-hole, every time! There is a third possibility- self play and a good vibrator. Which is why we’re talking about sex right now.
Joe.v2 gave me a gorgeously expensive, great vibrator- it’s a G-spot vibrator. But, the thing is I’m not a G-spot type girl. I’m a clit girl… and guys, in case you didn’t know this, we’re usually one or the other. And, when we tell you which it is, it would be to your benefit to pay attention. He wasn’t really listening and apparently wasn’t willing to put in the required amount of effort to bring untold rewards and delights to both of us. And, I think this g-spot toy was supposed to be a teaching tool?
Well, as of yesterday, v2 is gone. But I still have the vibrator and over the last few weeks I’ve been teaching myself a few new tricks. I’m learning to develop my g-spot. Oh Man…. this afternoon I got it, dead on and was in spasms of delight within a couple of minutes. I wish I’d clocked it. And, I wish it’d taken a little longer.
What I was reminded of, as I lounged in a post-coital type mode, was that no one really gets the job done better than oneself. Really. I’m serious. Talk about seduction and gentle kisses, talk about the excitement and delight… but don’t forget the messy details of relating to another person, and at our age that often includes pills, extra time getting ‘ready’ and other stuff that comes into play. This was simple, satisfying and wonderfully refreshing. I don’t have to chat, make him feel good, “do” him in return. Cook him dinner. Nope. Just a wash up with hot soap for my purple delight and I’m done. I feel a bit like a man writing all that.
Seriously. Taking care of one’s own needs is a useful tool for anyone to develop and nurture. But, there’s no way I’d give up sex with a real man for my toys. But, I will give up sex with men who fail to take the time to fully appreciate what they’re being offered… and men who aren’t listening or ‘giving’. There are givers and there are takers. I’m a giver. And, I want to be in a bed with a giver as well.
For now? I’ve got that satisfied air about me. There’s no clingy moss on my ass!