It’s been 3 days now since the garage door died. I’ve been holding my breath but feel like I can finally breathe again this morning. No particular reason, just a sigh of relief over the absence of misfortune.
Of course it’s raining cats and dogs (figuratively for 3 weeks, literally this morning) …mostly cats in my world-and my car is NOT in the garage, but… small matter. Though I often wish I was the Wicked Witch, I am not. So melting is not a concern.
I have an all day meeting, a mixture of unpleasant work and good friends. But what I want to visualize is a calm, pleasant evening. It might start with a good strong drink by the fire while I contemplate the Sunday puzzle, still incomplete. And, maybe if I’m very lucky, my special friend will come over for conversation, drink and more.
One can only wish.
My new job is all about seniors and aging. It’s often rewarding and sobering at the same time. Today I attended a training for trainers on Alzheimer’s and Dementia. Parts of it were downright scary.
Then I came home to my empty house.
- Learning about how the brain shrinks and becomes diseased with illness and age- Depressing
- Sitting on the back deck with shot of Knob Creek enjoying a balmy fall evening – Relaxing
- Wearing a shawl and thinking that only old ladies wear shawls-Depressing
- Thinking about Fall as a metaphor for this point in my life (shit dies in the fall, drops to the ground and rots)- Depressing
- Knowing that I’m still fucking single and without (legitimate) possibilities-Depressing
- Watching 4 young deer cavort and romp through the stream and surrounding grass- Exhilarating
- Realizing this was the makings of a blog post-Justification for a second drink.
Getting old, alone, is a mixed bag. I”m contemplating drinking my dinner. And, on the other hand, I’m thinking I could rejoice in my being alive, my ability to buy an expensive bottle of Bourbon and the absence of another person with issues- dirty laundry, aging-related problems, etc…. It’s all about balance.
This song comes to mind, for some reason. I think it’s more about the feeling of poignancy than the words.